I’d like to share my “murder” confession, or at least one of them.
This week, driving into work, I let an angry person get the best of me. I was on RT 2 attempting to merge to get on the BU Bridge. But nooooo……someone in a Jeep was determined that if she did nothing else that Monday morning, she was going to stop me from merging into HER lane.
I finally did succeed in getting into the lane I needed to be in albeit behind the angry person. I should have gone along merrily on my way but nooooo…..I was determined that if I did nothing else that Monday morning, I was going to let this person know she was wrong in what she did. I tooted my horn (ok, I sat on my horn for 20 seconds). Her response? She flipped me the bird. It was the “rearview mirror” bird. You know, the one you rest up against the driver side window for the person behind you to see in the rearview mirror.
Now, let me tell you…..I despise it when people flip the bird. I find it tasteless, tacky and socially unacceptable. But again, my anger got the best of me so I in turn flipped the bird right back at her. But my bird was bigger. I held it right up to the windshield and shook it as if my wrist was in a fierce arm wrestling match. I even threw in the pursed lip maneuver. Oh yea, if her bird was a finch, mine was a vulture.
So, does my expression of anger and judgment towards this person mean I sinned? Yes it does. Does the fact that my bird was bigger than her bird make my sin bigger than hers? NO it does not.
That is what Jesus is saying in Matthew 5:21-26. If you sin, you sin. There is no need for further description with the use of words such as mini, unintentional, mammoth, deserved or compensated when it comes to defining sin. Jesus is saying just that. Let’s call it what it is, a sin. Finch or vulture. Petty theft or murder. It is a sin.
I did not catch up the Jeep and toss the woman a Dunkin gift card nor did I offer her a friendly wave of reconciliation. But I did stop, think and pray to God to forgive my actions. I also prayed that he would guide the angry Jeep driver and help her heart to be more loving. Acknowledging my sin pleased Him. That’s what He wants. He wants us to acknowledge His desires for us, try to live as He desires us to live and to grow in His presence. He loves us unconditionally. The only sentences you’ll find me serving for this murderous act are the ones in the paragraphs above.